


All I Ever Wanted

by arashinana



Series: atsuhina week 2020 [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, AtsuHina Week, AtsuHina Week 2020, Atsumu cries a lot near the end, But I promise it ends on a good note!, First Love, Hinata just wants to be with the man he loves, M/M, Misunderstandings, Miya Atsumu Being an Idiot, Mutual Pining, Osamu is a good brother, Pining Miya Atsumu, Prince Hinata Shouyou, Prince Miya Atsumu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:13:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24676708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arashinana/pseuds/arashinana
Summary: AtsuHina Week 2020 Day 4 - Royalty AU AND College AU“Are you jealousOsamu?” Shouyou teased, his eyes filled with mirth.Atsumu blinked, remembering how Shouyou had asked him the same thing less than a year ago. Things had changed between them over the course of their year of friendship. They spent almost all of their free time together, Atsumu no longer hung around Oikawa and while Shouyou did make other friends, he only spent time with them in his classes. Somewhere along the way, Atsumu had gone from“Osamu-san”to just“Osamu”and “Shouyou” to “Shou.” Somewhere along the way, Atsumu had fallen hard.“Shit.” Atsumu wanted to slap himself. He realized he’d unknowingly joined the ranks of one of Shouyou’s enamored princes.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Miya Osamu, Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Series: atsuhina week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1777954
Comments: 22
Kudos: 81





	All I Ever Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Me again.
> 
> This fourth installment of AtsuHina Week really took a lot out of me, which is why it is posted so late. I went through many drafts and many different angles before finally settling on this. I'll be splitting this up into two chapters and the other half should be on it's way shortly.
> 
> I had a hard time deciding between the two prompts when [AwkwardPotatoChild](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwkwardPotatoChild/pseuds/AwkwardPotatoChild) _subtly_ suggested combining the two. The college is _really_ brief but the royalty is there. I don't think this is what she had in mind when she was trying to help me though. I'm sorry!
> 
> Special thanks to [golden_kaori](https://archiveofourown.org/users/golden_kaori/pseuds/golden_kaori) for offering sage advice when I got lost while writing this. Your "Uncle Iroh-like" wisdom helped me get through it <3
> 
> Also shout out to [Erza](https://twitter.com/ErzaMikazuki/) for being so kind and sending me words of encouragement on twitter.
> 
> No beta because I took too long to write this and [bewdofchaos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bewdofchaos/pseuds/bewdofchaos) deserves a break from my nonsense lol
> 
> This was a labour of love ~~and anxiety~~ but I hope you enjoy reading!

Johzenji was a prestigious college that boasted their various programs and academics would mold the minds of the future kings and king consorts into the great leaders of tomorrow. While the college did have the highest admittance and graduate rate on the continent, it wasn’t the academics that lured the sons of royalty to the school. Unbeknownst to the public, the reason that the princes on the cusp of adulthood flocked through the golden gates of Johzenji in droves, was to escape the reality that awaited them in their own kingdoms or abroad. For some it was a kingdom in shambles; kingdoms that were beyond saving. For the majority, it was an engagement to someone they didn’t even know; an arrangement without their consent. This school was their safe haven and their four years there allowed them the freedom to truly be themselves or to don the mask of the person they wished to be.

The fanfare of trumpets caught Shouyou’s attention and he looked out the window to watch the graduates in the courtyard below as they walked across the stage in their golden ceremonial robes to receive their diploma and white cord. Contrary to the norm, graduation was not the “beginning of the rest of your life” at least not for the royal princes that descended down the stage with equally grim expressions on their faces. Graduation was the beginning of the end of their lives and the white cord that was placed around their neck was the metaphorical noose.

They were both resting comfortably, Shouyou with his back against the arm rest while Atsumu sprawled across the rest of the couch. Seeking Shouyou’s attention, he moved to lay his head on his lap, sighing peacefully when gentle fingers began to comb through his blonde hair. He closed his eyes, relaxing into his boyfriend's touch.

_“Osamu_ , are you sure it’s okay for you to be here? You’re missing your own graduation.” He eyed the golden robes that were crumpled haphazardly in the corner of Atsumu’s bedroom and he felt his chest tighten for the umpteenth time that week.

“S’fine Shou. Those old fogeys watch princes graduate every year. They won’t miss little ol’ me.” Atsumu assured him.

_I also can’t have you finding out I’m Atsumu Miya of Inarizaki._ He thought to himself.

When he’d enrolled at Johzenji, he’d passed himself off as Osamu, simple enough due to the fact that they were twins. He had the school sign a non-disclosure agreement stating that they were not to release any information about him regarding his family name or his kingdom to anyone in or out of Johzenji. Atsumu wanted to be free but that didn’t mean he couldn’t keep some secrets to himself.

Shouyou turned and stared out the window again, a pensive look on his face as he continued to stroke Atsumu’s hair. The tightness in his chest seemed to grow with every passing second as he was reminded of the fact that the next few days would be his last with his boyfriend of two years. Shouyou felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest at the thought of goodbye; his breath hitched.

Atsumu startled, his eyes opening when Shouyou shook. He looked up and frowned when he saw the distraught look on his usually smiling face. He reached up to poke his cheek, “Hey, what’s wrong babe?”

When Shouyou didn’t answer he tried again, “Shou? What’s wrong? Why do ya look like that?”

Shouyou exhaled heavily through his nose before speaking, “I just can’t believe that the last three years have gone by so fast. I mean, it feels like we just met yesterday and now,” he paused, his voice growing thick with emotion. “You won’t be here with me next year, _Osamu.”_

\--

Atsumu was in his sophomore year when he was recruited to be one of the guides for the new wave of freshmen. He had refused at first, reasoning that he didn’t want to be responsible for any freshman scrub for the day. He _almost_ got through the morning without partnering with a first year student when Oikawa had caught him napping in the library and dragged him to the gates.

Atsumu found himself face to face with a mass of orange hair and bright honey-brown eyes.

“‘Samu-chan, meet Shou-chan!”

“It’s Shouyou, by the way. Oikawa-san, ‘Shou-chan’ makes me sound like a child.”

“Yeah, and it’s Osamu. I’ve been tellin’ ya fer over a year now!”

The shorter male smiled up at him, shaking his hand enthusiastically. 

Oikawa smiled at the two of them before clapping his hand on Atsumu’s shoulder and running off. Atsumu carded his fingers through his hair before he turned to lead the way to the dorms, indicating for Shouyou to follow. “C’mon, I’ll show ya where to put yer stuff and we’ll get this tour over with.”

Shouyou easily fell into step with Atsumu and he noted how short he was compared to himself. He looked no more than fifteen though he knew that he was at least eighteen. When they had shaken hands earlier, Atsumu’s hand had completely dwarfed Shouyou’s own; he seemed so small and so delicate in comparison. He was also kind of cute, but in a need to be protected sort of way.

As the days went on, Atsumu found that he didn’t mind spending time with Shouyou and he soon learned that the younger male wasn’t as delicate as he seemed. Despite his smaller stature, he could hold his own. Atsumu had been impressed when he saw his friend take on a junior twice his size because he was picking on one of his classmates. The junior he couldn’t bother to remember the name of had tried to intimidate Shouyou by straightening to his full height. Shouyou had then backed away, leading everyone to believe that he was retreating. He winked at Atsumu before he turned to sprint up to the bully and jumped, rising almost above the junior’s head and tackling him to the ground. Shouyou had made an impression on everyone that day, Atsumu included. 

  
  


His first year at Johzenji, Shouyou managed to charm almost every prince he interacted with and Atsumu found himself figuratively beating them away with a stick when they would fawn over him. It was downright embarrassing how the second to fourth year princes were throwing themselves at Shouyou. Atsumu didn’t hesitate to tell them so. Flipping the bird up at them when he was accused of trying to keep Shouyou all to himself. Atsumu was just really trying to protect his best friend. At least that’s what he believed at the time.

Shouyou looked at him curiously, “Hah, are you jealous _Osamu-san?_ ”

“Over a scrub like ya? Hell no, it’s just getting’ annoying.” He paused, “Besides they’re no good for ya, ya can do better than them.”

“Ah, okay. Well I’m sorry my boyish good looks are an inconvenience to you. I’m glad you think so highly of me _Osamu-san_. Thinking I can do better than som--hey!!” Shouyou whined when Atsumu flicked his forehead, effectively telling him to shut up.

  
  


The following year when Shouyou took up the mantle of “freshman guide”, Atsumu was surprised to find himself irritated at the swarm of underclassmen that hovered around Shouyou like moths to a flame. There was an odd twinge in his chest whenever he saw one of them approach their “Shouyou-senpai” so casually and touch him with ease. The negative energy that he emitted proved to be an effective deterrent against the first-year pests.

“Are you jealous _Osamu?_ ” Shouyou teased, his eyes filled with mirth.

Atsumu blinked, remembering how Shouyou had asked him the same thing less than a year ago. Things had changed between them over the course of their year of friendship. They spent almost all of their free time together, Atsumu no longer hung around Oikawa and while Shouyou did make other friends, he only spent time with them in his classes. Somewhere along the way, Atsumu had gone from _“Osamu-san”_ to just _“Osamu”_ and “Shouyou” to “Shou.” Somewhere along the way, Atsumu had fallen hard. 

“Shit.” Atsumu wanted to slap himself. He realized he’d unknowingly joined the ranks of one of Shouyou’s enamored princes.

“Hmm?”

He decided to take a chance, what did he have to lose? 

… Other than his best friend.

“Go out with me Shou.”

“Wait, what?!”

Atsumu grabbed Shouyou’s hand in his. “Please go out with me.”

Shouyou’s face split into a wide grin, his expression so bright, his eyes almost sparkled. He squeezed Atsumu’s hand in return, “I thought you’d never ask.”

  
  


\--

  
  


In contrast to that moment from two years ago, Shouyou’s eyes were now dark and suspiciously glassy, “I’m going to spend the next year without you, and you’re going to be married next summer.” Shouyou’s voice cracked on the word married.

“I know.” Atsumu’s chestnut eyes searched his, “But you’ll be getting married too after ya graduate Shou.”

Shouyou nodded solemnly, he knew that. But it didn’t change the fact that he was being forced to separate from the person he loved. Yes, he loved _Osamu_ , though he had vowed to never actually tell him. That would make things even harder than it had to be if he spoke the words out loud. Shouyou kept that secret locked away inside his heart. A heart that ached with pain and longing for something he could not keep.

Overwhelmed by his thoughts, the tears he had desperately tried to hold back rushed out of him like a raging river. He saw the sadness in Atsumu’s eyes and how they reflected his own. He couldn’t bear to look any longer and rushed to cover his face with his hands. “No, _Osamu_ , don’t look at me.”

Atsumu sat up, twisting around so he could face Shouyou. He had always known this day would come, they both did. But neither of them had expected to find someone they could grow so attached to. They had broken the unspoken rule of Johzenji. _Do not get attached._

A better man would have ended their relationship earlier, before the intensity of their feelings over-complicated things. 

But Atsumu was not a better man. 

He was just weak. Weak for one Prince Shouyou.

It was not for lack of trying though. He had resolved to break things off with Shouyou many times over the course of his senior year to give them enough time to get over each other. But every time those honey-brown eyes bore into his, that resolve would crumble; falling apart like a house of cards. Instead of breaking up with his boyfriend, he’d end up kissing him senseless, relishing in the happiness that Shouyou’s proximity gave him. 

_Ah, next time for sure,_ was what Atsumu always told himself when he would walk away with kiss swollen lips.

He gently coaxed Shouyou’s hands away from his face, pressing chaste kisses to his palms and tear-stained cheeks. When Shouyou still refused to meet his gaze, Atsumu gathered him into his arms instead and leaned back, pulling Shouyou over him. He felt the tears soaking through his shirt but Atsumu didn’t mind; he only pulled Shouyou closer, trying to comfort him as best as he could. 

They fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms, wishing tomorrow would never come.

  
  
  


Atsumu found himself clinging tighter and tighter. He was unwilling to leave, unable to stay, yet he still anchored Shouyou to him. It was selfish. He knew that. Unfair to either of them, even more so to Shouyou who he would be leaving behind. But he couldn’t help himself, the idea of letting go of the best thing in his life was unthinkable. He wished they had more time together. 

But there was none. 

He was leaving and this was the last time he’d hold Shouyou in his embrace.

Atsumu closed his eyes and leaned forward to kiss Shouyou one last time, he inched closer until he met the pads of Shouyou’s fingers instead. He opened his eyes and pulled away in confusion, then he saw that Shouyou’s eyes were once again brimming with unshed tears. The overwhelming sadness on his face spoke volumes, as he shook his head. Understanding finally dawned on Atsumu. 

_Please don’t. Please don’t kiss me. I won’t be able to let you go if you do._

Swallowing around the lump of emotion in his throat, Atsumu placed his hand around Shouyou’s neck to bring their foreheads together. Shouyou finally allowed his tears to fall and Atsumu’s soon followed. 

And that was how Shouyou spent his 20th birthday. Nursing his broken heart as he watched the carriage whisk his _Osamu_ away.

* * *

  
  


Atsumu had barely stepped out of the carriage when he was met by his retainer. He was informed--ordered--that he was to report to the throne room immediately for an audience with his father and brother. He met his retainer's disapproving gaze with a roll of his eyes.

_Good grief, I haven’t even walked into the castle and already I’m being ordered around._

Annoyed, Atsumu took his time walking through the marbled halls, a few extra minutes to himself wouldn’t do him any harm. He’d already taken a three month detour getting home from Johzenji much to his father’s displeasure. 

He noted that not much had changed in the time he had been away other than the new painting that hung outside the throne room. He paused to inspect it and concluded that it must have been commissioned or gifted to the castle after he had left. He read the caption and made a face at it “In honour of his Royal Highness, Prince Osamu’s 18th birthday.” 

Who knew two minutes could make such a difference in a person’s life? Had Atsumu been older he probably wouldn’t have had to go through so much turmoil in his twenty-one years of life. But then again, Osamu would have to go through it and he frowned. As much as they fought each other, he wouldn’t wish this heartache on him or anyone else for that matter.

The mood was somber when Atsumu finally entered the room. His father was seated on his throne, his fingers drumming impatiently along the arm rest. Osamu sat to his right, his grey eyes lighting up when he saw his brother. Atsumu quirked an eyebrow at him as he ascended the steps to take his seat beside him. 

“Took ya long enough, ‘Tsumu.”

He stuck his tongue out at his brother, “I think what ya meant was, ‘hi Atsumu, it’s great to see ya after being apart fer four years. You’ve grown more handsome with the passage of time.’”

Osamu punched him, “What the hell, is that supposed to be me?!”

They started kicking each other. You’d never know that the twin princes were just one month shy of their twenty-second birthday when they continued to act like they were bickering toddlers. It would seem that the four years apart did nothing to mature their relationship.

The king cleared his throat loudly, “Are the two of ya really the princes of our country? Yer no better than when ya were kids. Stop this at once!” The tone of his voice held no room for argument. Atsumu looked between his brother and his father and tucked himself into his seat. 

“Now then, I have already talked to Osamu about this but I need ya to listen as well Atsumu. Osamu was always meant to rule Inarizaki after my time was done. That is the duty of the crown prince. And yer being the second son, we had made arrangements for ya to marry into another kingdom to broker an alliance.”

Atsumu rolled his eyes, he knew this already. He had had his four years of freedom at college and returned home just as he promised he would--albeit a few months late. Why was he bringing this up again? He was about to roll his eyes for the third time that day when he caught his father’s look of disapproval, the intense brown eyes bore into his soul. He flushed and bowed his head meekly in apology, glaring at Osamu when he saw the smirk on his face.

“Atsumu, we’re calling off yer engagement.”

The prince’s eyes grew wide with shock, “Yer what?!” He tried to hide the grin that curved up his lips but failed. He was ecstatic.

His father narrowed his eyes, “Don’t look so excited Atsumu. It would seem that yer intended has respectfully requested the hand of yerr brother instead.”

“Who the hell would want ugly ‘Samu over me?” While elated by the news that he was no longer being forced to marry someone he didn’t love or even know, he was still offended by the circumstance.

Osamu quirked an eyebrow at him, “Fer the love of god, why do ya always have to say _I’m_ the ugly one? We’re twins dammit, we have the same face!” 

Atsumu shrugged. He always enjoyed getting a rise out of him when he could. What were brothers for? After all, he had four years of missed barbs to make up for.

“And I’m sorry, did ya actually want to go marry this person? Fer years ya complained and whined about how stupid this arrangement was and now ya wanna go rushing back into it? Go ahead, be my guest.” He waved his hand dismissively. Atsumu gritted his teeth opening his mouth to respond when his father interjected.

“I don’t know the reason behind the change. All I have is a letter of intent and confirmation that the wedding will still take place this summer if I approve their request. This alliance is very important for our kingdom. I have waited over twenty years for this moment, our people have waited patiently for this moment. I won’t announce anything officially until after the wedding. It’s easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. We have no choice now that they’ve requested Osamu in place of ya. Ya understand what this means, don’t ya Atsumu?” 

He blinked owlishly at his father. _Did he really mean..._

“Yer my heir apparent, Atsumu. Yer going to be taking your brother’s place as the crown prince.”

Atsumu was shocked for the second time that day. He took a moment, mulling over the new information his father had thrown at him. He looked up at Osamu. What did he think about all of this?

“Are ya fine with this ‘Samu?” He asked incredulously.

Osamu shrugged, “It doesn’t really matter. We need this alliance. It’s fer the good of our people.”

Atsumu wasn’t satisfied with his answer. He knew he was crossing a line but he pushed anyway. “But what about Rint--”

Grey eyes flashed darkly, “That’s not yer concern.” 

“Why’re ya biting my head off? I’m just asking a question.”

“I said it’s not yer concern. Drop it.”

Atsumu puffed out his chest, “Ya wanna go, ‘Samu?”

The former crown prince stood up, brushing the grey hair out of his eyes, “Don’t pick a fight ya can’t win little brother.”

“Enough!!”

The twins stiffened as the king aggressively massaged his temples with his fingertips. He felt a headache coming on. A big one. They were the only kind of headaches he knew for the past two decades.

Osamu and Atsumu exchanged glances, silently blaming one another for the tongue lashing they were about to get.

The king dropped his hands, and exhaled heavily, “Yer both dismissed. I don’t want to hear another word out of either of ya.” 

He watched them wearily as they left the throne room together, kicking each other as they went. His sons, _his heirs_ were a headache alright, forever bickering. He looked up towards the heavens, begging for his wife to grant him the peace and serenity he needed. He also offered up a silent prayer for the poor soul that had to marry either one of his sons.

* * *

  
  
Orange flags with black crows greeted Atsumu and Osamu as they disembarked from the carriage at the foot of Karasuno castle. Atsumu adjusted the crown that balanced precariously above his head. It had been Osamu’s for most of his life, the weight of the duties of the crown prince mirrored the heaviness of the crown. How his brother had managed to bear with it all these years was commendable. But after the wedding in one months time, that crown would belong solely to Atsumu along with the heavy burden that came with being the heir to Inarizaki. 

Osamu stood beside him, Atsumu’s old crown adorned his head though while it was lighter, it seemed to weigh Osamu down even more so than his own. Atsumu had a sneaking suspicion that the figurative weight on Osamu’s person had to do with the question he had posed to him when he had returned to Inarizaki all those months ago. The question he never really got a proper response to as Osamu flat out refused to answer him.

The summer weather of Karasuno was very different compared to summer back home. Inarizaki was hot and muggy whereas the cool winds from the mountains that backed this region allowed more optimal temperatures. Atsumu relished the cool breeze that caressed his cheeks. He could see himself living in Karasuno. Perhaps he could visit in the summers to escape the heat after ‘Samu got married.

The two princes were led up the stairs and into the large vestibule. The orange and black colours of Karasuno decorated the walls in various tapestries and fresh flowers. Atsumu smiled wickedly to himself when he realized that these would soon be the colors his brother would have to wear as the prince or king consort of this kingdom. Between the two of them, Atsumu looked better in the Karasuno colours if he could say so himself; but this was not his wedding, nor his problem. Osamu looked terrible in orange. He snickered when his twin looked at him curiously.

They paused in front of a massive oak door and were instructed to wait so they could be announced properly. The amount of pomp that went into this first introduction amused Atsumu. He absently wondered what it would be like when it was his turn to get married one day. He smiled wistfully as he imagined a certain someone with honey-brown eyes, adorned in the maroon and white colours of Inarizaki, ruling the kingdom at his side. 

When the doors to the throne room opened, Atsumu was brought back to reality and he looked up and was floored when he saw a head of distinct orange hair. The man was turned away from them so Atsumu could not see his face, but the strands of hair that curled over the nape of his neck were familiar and it set his heart racing with longing.

_Shouyou? What is he doing here?_

Atsumu realized that there was a golden crown upon Shouyou’s mop of unruly hair and he finally made the connection. Shouyou was the prince of Karasuno. Shouyou was going to marry his brother. _His_ Shouyou was going to marry Osamu.

He felt like he was going to be sick. He had to leave. He had to go before Shouyou could see him. He grabbed Osamu’s arm, his chestnut eyes pleading when he was met by a pair of annoyed grey eyes.

“What’s wrong with ya?” Osamu whispered. 

“I have to go. I can't be here. I can’t.” With that being said, Atsumu ran off, leaving the room full of people confused. He didn’t see Shouyou watching his retreating figure with confusion.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read this!!
> 
> Comments and feedback are always welcome :)
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/NanaChoi)  
> [Tumblr](https://nanacee.tumblr.com/)
> 
> ~~Do y'all even want a Chapter 2 because now I'm not sure about posting it orz~~


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